The Last Time I Saw A Blonde

The Last Time I Appeared In Las Vegas, They Were Wearing Hoop Skirts And Davy Crockett Hats, ... But They Say 'what Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas.' And As Far As Fashion Is Concerned, That's A Good Thing.

I Use A Smoke Alarm As A Timer.

I Have No Boobs Whatsoever. On My Wedding Night My Husband Said, 'let Me Help You With Those Buttons' And I Told Him, 'i'm Completely Naked'.

If You Can't Make Fun Of Yourself, You Don't Have Any Right To Make Fun Of Others

I Was Just Reading About The New Lindsay Lohan Diet, Which Is All Liquid. 80 Proof.