The Last Few Years Of My Life

It Is True That All Of The Current Presidential Candidates Once Denied That They Had Any Intention Of Running. But The Fact That I Am Also A Liar, Doesn't Make Me A Candidate.

All The Problems We Face In The United States Today Can Be Traced To An Unenlightened Immigration Policy On The Part Of The American Indian.

I Read An Article That Said One In Five Americans Thinks Elvis Is Alive. I Want To Find Those Morons And Get Them Registered To Vote For Me.

Deep Down, I Happen To Be Very Shallow.

Many Of You Have Asked Why It's Taken Me So Long To Select A Running Mate. I Have No Intention Of Reaching Into The Political Grab Bag And Grabbing Any Man To Be My Running Mate. I'm Going To Reach In And Grab A Woman!