The Hardest Thing In Comedy Is To

Artists Are Always Looking For New Things And Fresh Ground And Fresh Air. If It Feels New To Me, There's A Chance It'll Feel New To The Audience And We'll Have Found Something.

I Was In The Drug Store The Other Day Trying To Get A Cold Medication...not Easy. There's An Entire Wall Of Products You Need. You Stand There Going,"well, This One Is Quick Acting But This Is Long Lasting...which Is More Important, The Present Or The Future?"

I Once Had A Leather Jacket That Got Ruined In The Rain. Why Does Moisture Ruin Leather? Aren't Cows Outside A Lot Of The Time? When It's Raining, Do Cows Go Up To The Farmhouse, "let Us In! We're All Wearing Leather! Open The Door! We're Going To Ruin The Whole Outfit Here!"

I Don't Return Fruit. Fruit's A Gamble. I Know That Going In.

I Won't Do Something Unless I Can Get At Least Two Or Three Good Laughs Out Of It. If I Can't, It's Not Gonna Make The Team.