The Elephant Smoked Too Much.(explaining Why The

Did You Know That Mozart Had No Arms And No Legs? I've Seen Statues Of Him On People's Pianos.

The First Piano Was Built Long After They Didn't Have Any At All.

Humor Is Something That Thrives Between Man's Aspirations And His Limitations. There Is More Logic In Humor Than In Anything Else. Because, You See, Humor Is Truth.

Occasionally, A Finger Comes Up To Wipe A Tear [of Laughter] From The Eye... And That's My Reward... The Rest Goes To The Government.

One Afternoon, When I Was Four Years Old, My Father Came Home, And He Found Me In The Living Room In Front Of A Roaring Fire, Which Made Him Very Angry. Because We Didn't Have A Fireplace.