The Big Cities Of America Are Becoming

Getting Older Means You Don't Have To Shave Your Legs Anymore.

Look At The Parts The Oscar-nominated Actresses Played This Year: Hooker, Hooker, Hooker, Hooker, And Nun.

Verbal Ability Is A Highly Overrated Thing In A Guy, And It's Our Pathetic Need For It That Gets Us Into So Much Trouble.

Another Thing You End Up Doing When You Get Older, Is You Spend So Much Time Sort Of Trying Desperately To Keep From Just Looking Just A Little Older. You're Just Constantly Putting Stuff On Your Face And Having Things Removed From Yourself And Opening Up Copies Of "vogue" So That You Can Find New Ways To Throw Whatever Money You've Managed To Save Into The Arms Of Some Doctor Who Has Just Come Up With A New Way Of Lasering Your Face That Feels Like Electroshock And All These Things.

I Don't Care Who You Are. When You Sit Down To Write The First Page Of Your Screenplay, In Your Head, You're Also Writing Your Oscar Acceptance Speech.