The Best Way To Make Somebody Feel

Love Is, And I Hope It Never Isn't.

A Sports Bar Is A Way To Take A Bar And Fill It With Even More Annoying People Than Usual.

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Making A Connection With A Stranger, But Then It Turns Out I'm Not. Like, I Was In A Mall, And I Saw This Lady Hitting Her Kid. So I Went Up To Her, And I Was Like, "yeah, Get Him!" She Got All Mad At Me. I Was Like, "i'm On Your Side Here."

Drunken Behavior Will Not Be Tolerated, Except By Those Who Are Being Hilarious.

Checkers Taught Me That A King Is A Man With Another Man On Top Of Him. But Life Taught Me That That's Actually Called A Queen.