That Receiver Was As Wide Open As

Now Let Me Get This Straight. Bush Is Anti-abortion, But Pro-death Penalty. I Guess It's All In The Timing, Huh?

If Somebody Wants To Shoot Up And Die In Front Of You, More Power To Them. The Herd Has A Way Of Thinning Itself Out.

I'm Actually Equal Parts Cynicism And Apathy. I'm Always Willing To Believe The Worst As Long As It Doesn't Take Too Much Effort.

The Aclu Spent This Entire Holiday Season Protesting Public Displays Of The Nativity Scene. Yeah, That's The Problem With America Right Now: Public Displays Of Christ's Birth, That's The Problem. It's Unbelievable To Me. The Aclu Will No Longer Fight For Your Right To Put Up A Nativity Scene, But They'll Fight For The Right Of The Local Freak Who Wants To Stumble Onto The Scene And Have Sex With One Of The Sheep.

On Thursday, A Passenger Forced His Way Into The Cockpit Of A United Airlines Flight From Miami, But Was Subdued After The Co-pilot Hit Him With A Small Ax. Good To See Our Airlines Are Being Kept Secure By The Latest In 12th Century Technology.