Tennis Is Like Marrying For Money. Love

I Serve Dinner In Three Phases: Serve The Food, Clear The Table, Bury The Dead.

There's So Little Money In My Bank Account, My Scenic Checks Show A Ghetto.

When I Go To The Beach, My Grandchildren Try To Make Words Out Of The Veins In My Legs. That's Why I Still Take The Pill; I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.

It Took Me Three Weeks To Stuff The Turkey. I Stuffed It Through The Beak.

When You Play Spin The Bottle, If They Don't Want To Kiss You They Have To Give You A Quarter. Well, Hell, By The Time I Was Twelve Years Old I Owned My Own Home.