[televised Stand-up] Never Really Makes Me Laugh.

I'm No Good At Anything But Comedy, Which I Think I'm Good At. I'm Absolutely No Good At Networking; I'm Terrible At Acting; I'm Terrible At Dealing With Executives; I'm Terrible At Collaborating. And I Say Whatever I Want To Say. But I Think I'm Good Enough At Comedy That I Can Survive. And I Don't Really Have An Ambition For Money.

I Have Always Loved Las Vegas. It's A Traditional Place For Lounge Comics To Perform, And I Love That.

We Are Often Less Grieved At Disappointments Than At Ourselves For Having Said Much Concerning The Certainty Of Our Expectations.

There Are Two Things Which A Man Should Scrupulously Avoid: Giving Advice That He Would Not Follow, And Asking Advice When He Is Determined To Pursue His Own Opinion.

Some Men Are Tempted To Violate Secrecy From The Uneasiness Secrecy Gives Them, And Others, Merely To Impress You With The Extent Of Their Confidence.