Background Image
Stocks Are At An All-time High Today. I Don't Have Any Money In The Stock Market. I Don't Have The Stomach For The Ups And Downs. So About 20 Years Ago I Put All Of My Money And Liquid Assets Into Videotape Rewind Machines.
-David Letterman
Please Wait....
Translating....

Stocks Are At An All-time High Today.

David Letterman
Stocks Are At An All-time High Today. I Don't Have Any Money In The Stock Market. I Don't Have The Stomach For The Ups And Downs. So About 20 Years Ago I Put All Of My Money And Liquid Assets Into Videotape Rewind Machines.
Views: 2
Topic
Years
Machines
Today
More From David Letterman
Hillary Clinton Is Now In Iowa. She's Spending Every Waking Minute Of Her Day Meeting Ordinary People, And It's To Prepare Her For A Job In Which She Will Never Again Meet An Ordinary Person.
Jobs
Iowa
People
Do I Think There Is A Heaven? Uh, Yeah I Do. Like A Really Big Gymnasium. How Do I See Myself There? With Really Bad Seats.
Thinking
Heaven
Yeah
I Was Once Involved In A Same-sex Marriage. There Was The Same Sex Over And Over And Over.
Sex
Involved
Bill Clinton Has A Brand New Book Coming Out In A Few Months And The Democrats Are Worried That The Clinton Book Might Upstage The Kerry Campaign. I'm Thinking, Hell, Day-old Meat Loaf Could Upstage That Campaign.
Book
Thinking
Might
When We Started The Show, There Were Mixed Responses. Half Of The People Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Chance.' The Other Half Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Prayer.'
Prayer
People
Half
Trending Author
Timothy Dalton
Aldous Huxley
John Podhoretz
Dan Harmon
Pierre Corneille
John Carpenter
Quotes by Topics
Action Attention Believe Blessing Desire Dream Ends Fear Fun God Grief Hard Work Hate Life Leave Me Alone Men Mind Moving Opportunity Philosophy Positive Religious Strong Thinking Want
Category