Spinsterhood Is Nature's Own Feminism.

There's No National Glue Holding Us Together Because Somebody Put Too Much Pluribus In The Unum.

Golf Is An Exercise In Scottish Pointlessness For People Who Are No Longer Able To Throw Telephone Poles At Each Other.

When You Go Apartment-hunting In The South, You Encounter Little Old Ladies Who Ask You If You Use Strong Drink. In New York You Encounter Paranoids Who Wonder If You Will Commit Suicide--not That They Care; What They Worry About Is Blood On Their Fresh Paint, A Dubious Smell In The Hallway, Or A Hole In The Awning As You Pass Through On Your Way To The Sidewalk. The Southerner Who Moves To Any Part Of The Country Has Problems, But The Culture Shock That Attacks The Southerner Who Moves North Is Almost Indescribable.

If We Define A Misanthrope As 'someone Who Does Not Suffer Fools And Likes To See Fools Suffer,' We Have Described A Person With Something To Look Forward To.

A Woman Must Wait For Her Ovaries To Die Before She Can Get Her Rightful Personality Back. Post-menstrual Is The Same As Pre-menstrual; I Am Once Again What I Was Before The Age Of Twelve: A Female Human Being Who Knows That A Month Has Thirty Day, Not Twenty-five, And Who Can Spend Every One Of Them Free Of The Shackles Of That Defect Of Body And Mind Known As Femininity.