Sometimes I Wish I Had A Terrible

I Honestly, Purposely Have Not Gone To Therapy Because I Know Some Crazy Stuff's Going To Be Dragged Up And, You Know, I'll Be Like, 'wait, What?'

After Michael Jordan Recently Criticized President Obama's Golf Game, Obama Responded By Saying That Jordan Should Spend More Time Thinking About His Basketball Team, The Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan Said, 'do You Really Want To Talk About Whose Team Got Crushed This Week?'

Mitt Romney Announced He Will Fight Former Heavyweight Champion Evander Holyfield In A Charity Boxing Match. You Can Tell That Romney Is Serious About It. Today, His Butler Gave Him A Piggyback Ride Up The Steps Of The Philadelphia Art Museum.

We Have First Lady Michelle Obama On The Show Tonight. As You'd Expect, Security's Been Pretty Tight. On My Way In I Got Five Pat-downs, And That Was Just From Joe Biden.

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'