Somebody Asked What I Wanted On My

The Most Important Thing For Old Guys Is Never Start Going Down The Stairs Sideways.

Young People Ask Me For Advice, And I Tell Them To Do What I Didn't Do. Get Some Training. I Took Jobs That Required Talents I Didn't Have.

I Can't Work With My Brother Without Laughing.

Bob Hope, Like Mark Twain, Had A Sense Of Humor That Was Uniquely American, And Like Twain, We'll Likely Not See Another Like Him.

I Have Also Heard And Read Various Accounts Of Why They [sheldon Leonard And Carl Reiner] Liked Me. My Favorites? I Wasn't Too Good-looking, I Walked A Little Funny, And I Was Basically Kind Of Average And Ordinary. I Guess My Lack Of Perfection Turned Out To Be A Winning Hand. Let That Be A Lesson For Future Generations.