She's As Funny As A Toothache

A Grandparent Is The Only Baby-sitter Who Doesn't Charge More After Midnight - Or Anything Before Midnight.

If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?

Cats Invented Self-esteem.

I Was Trampled To Death By A Man Who Believed His Luggage Would Be The First Piece Off. If He Were An Experienced Traveler, He Would Know That The First Piece Of Luggage Belongs To No One. It's Just A Dummy Suitcase To Give Everyone Hope.

My Mind Works . . . Two Boobs Never Get Me A Job.