Sex, On The Whole, Was Meant To

Mind You, I've Always Been A Very Off-message Type Of Fat Broad; One Who Gladly Admits She Reached The Size She Is Now Solely Through Lack Of Discipline And Love Of Pleasure, And Who Rather Despises People (except Those With Proven Medical Conditions) Who Pretend That It Is Generally Otherwise.

Now The Whole Dizzying And Delirious Range Of Sexual Possibilities Has Been Boiled Down To That One Big, Boring, Bulimic Word. Relationship.

What Men Don't Want, In Fact What Anyone Who's Any Sort Of Thrill-seeking, Intelligent Adult Doesn't Want, Is Some Crushing Bore Describing Their Emotions In Real Time Every Waking Hour.

It Must Be Said That Brighton, Unlike London, Makes Driving Seem Very Appealing. Instead Of Glowering Faces And Angry Horns On All Sides, We Have The Coast Road In Front Of Us And The Sussex Downs Just 10 Minutes Behind Us.

What Sort Of Sap Doesn't Know By Now That Picture-perfect Beauty Is All Done With Smoke And Mirrors Anyway?