Sending Grown-ups Up The Wall Is One

The Goal Of All Inanimate Objects Is To Resist Man And Ultimately Defeat Him.

Americans Like Fat Books And Thin Women.

Anticipating That Most Poetry Will Be Worse Than Carrying Heavy Luggage Through O'hare Airport, The Public, To Its Loss, Reads Very Little Of It.

I Worry About People Who Get Born Nowadays, Because They Get Born Into Such Tiny Families--sometimes Into No Family At All. When You're The Only Pea In The Pod, Your Parents Are Likely To Get You Confused With The Hope Diamond. And That Encourages You To Talk Too Much.

Unpleasant Questions Are Being Raised About Mother's Day. Is This Day Necessary? . . . Isn't It Bad Public Policy? . . . No Politician With Half His Senses, Which A Majority Of Politicians Have, Is Likely To Vote For Its Abolition, However. As A Class, Mothers Are Tender And Loving, But As A Voting Bloc They Would Not Hesitate For An Instant To Pull The Seat Out From Under Any Congressman Who Suggests That Mother Is Not Entitled To A Box Of Chocolates Each Year In The Middle Of May.