Saying That You Don't Believe In Magic

I'm Not Being Condescending, I'm Too Busy Thinking About Far More Important Things You Wouldn't Understand.

Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love' With You.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

Recently My Girlfriend Asked Me If I Was Having Sex Behind Her Back And I Replied, "yes, Who Did You Think It Was?"

I Was In The South Of France. I Saw A Brownie On A School Trip. She Was Holding Up A Book. It Said On The Front 'rough Guide'. I Thought: 'yeah' She's Not A Looker.