Say What You Will About Leona Helmsley,

The Oil Spill Is Getting Bad. There Is So Much Oil And Tar Now In The Gulf Of Mexico, Cubans Can Now Walk To Miami.

The First Presidential Debate Was Down In Florida. Residents Spent All Day Putting Plywood On Their Televisions.

Osama Bin Laden Has Ten Look-alikes To Fool Us Americans. Ten Look-alikes, And He's Married To Five Of Them.

So The Guy Who Shot Gadhafi Was Wearing A Yankees Cap. Did You See That? If He'd Had A Boston Red Sox Hat On He Probably Would Have Missed.

I Vote Democrat Because I'm Way Too Irresponsible To Own A Gun, And I Know That My Local Police Are All I Need To Protect Me From Murderers And Thieves. I Am Also Thankful That We Have A 911 Service That Gets Police To Your Home In Order To Identify Your Body After A Home Invasion.