Saddam Hussein Is Hitler Like Oasis Was

The Church Has Historically Been Very Slow To Embrace Technology. Until Very Recently, Their Idea Of A Laptop Was An Altar Boy.

There Was One Awkward Moment Where A Black Man Stood-up To Ask A Question And Out Of Habit, Bush Said 'clemency Denied.'

People Say To Me All The Time, "i Get My News From Your Show." And That Isn't The Way They Should Get Their News. But The Choice Is Not Between Getting Their News The Right Way And Getting Their News From My Show. The Choice Is That They Won't Get Any At All Unless You Give It To Them In An Entertaining Package.

In Republican Fantasy World, Everything Is Always Obama's Fault. Somehow, He's Weak And He's Ineffective, And Yet He Pulls The Strings On Everything In The World.

The Worst Years Of My Life Were The First Two Years I Was Doing Standup. You're Learning How To Do, And You're Going On Stage In Front Of Two Drunks And People Aren't Laughing And You're Broke. That's A Really Hard Time In Your Life.