Ruth Hadn't Talked To My Sister Since

There Was Our Father, The Heart We Knew Held All Of Us. Held Us Heavily And Desperately, The Doors Of His Heart Opening And Closing With The Rapidity Of Stops On An Instrument, The Quiet Felt Closures, The Ghostly Fingering, Practice And Practice And Then, Incredibly, Sound And Melody And Warmth.

And In A Small House Five Miles Away Was A Man Who Held My Mud-encrusted Charm Bracelet Out To His Wife. Look What I Found At The Old Industrial Park," He Said. "a Construction Guy Said They Were Bulldozing The Whole Lot. They're Afraid Of Sink Holes Like That One That Swallowed The Cars." His Wife Poured Him Some Water From The Sink As He Fingered The Tiny Bike And The Ballet Shoe, The Flower Basket And The Thimble. He Held Out The Muddy Bracelet As She Set Down His Glass. This Little Girl's Grown Up By Now," She Said. Almost. Not Quite. I Wish You All A Long And Happy Life.

Everyday He Got Up. Before Sleep Wore Off, He Was Who He Used To Be. Then, As His Consciousness Woke, It Was As If Poison Seeped In. At First He Couldn't Even Get Up. He Lay There Under A Heavy Weight. But Then Only Movment Could Save Him, And He Moved And He Moved And He Moved, No Movement Being Enough To Make Up For It. The Guilt On Him, The Hand Of God Pressing Down On Him, Saying, You Were Not There When Your Daughter Needed You.

Tess Was My First Experience Of A Woman Who Had Inhabited Her Weirdness, Moved Into The Areas Of Herself That Made Her Distinct From Those Around Her, And Learned How To Display Them Proudly.

At Fourteen, My Sister Sailed Away From Me Into A Place I’d Never Been. In The Walls Of My Sex There Was Horror And Blood, In The Walls Of Hers There Were Windows.