Regis Philbin's Back In Primetime, Hosting 11

In New York, There Are So Many Potholes, They're Like Craters On The Moon. That's Another Traffic Thing.

I Was Into The Mets Because My Dad Worked At Ibm Where He Got Free Mets Tickets, So I Was Into The Mets... Then I Got To 'saturday Night Live' Where My Boss Has Unbelievable N.y. Yankees Tickets, So He Invites Us To The Games. I'm Going To All The Games, So I Might As Well Root For The Team I'm Gonna Go Sit With.

Thank You, Horseradish, For Being Neither A Radish Nor A Horse. What You Are Is A Liar Food.

This Week A Man Was Arrested For Jumping Over The White House Fence And Trying To Spray Paint A Political Message. If That Guy Really Wanted To Get A Message To The President, He Could Have Just Written It In An Email To Literally Anyone.

The White House Is Worried About Joe Biden's Potential Run For President, And A Source Says They Fear That It Wouldn't Have The Right Outcome. That's Right, They Think He Might Win.