Regarding The Fitness Craze: America Has Lost

Give A Man A Fish And He Will Eat For A Day. Teach Him How To Fish, And He Will Sit In A Boat And Drink Beer All Day.

But Then You Turn 30. Oooohh, What Happened There? Makes You Sound Like Bad Milk! He Turned; We Had To Throw Him Out. There's No Fun Now, You're Just A Sour-dumpling. What's Wrong? What's Changed?

It Used To Be Cars Had Cool Names: Dart, Hawk, Fury, Cougar, Firebird, Hornet, Mustang, Barracuda. Now We Have Elantra, Altima, Acura, Lumina, Sentra, Corolla, Maxima, Tercel. Further Proof That America Has Lost Its Edge.

That's The Whole Meaning Of Life, Isn't It? Trying To Find A Place For Your Stuff.

The Only Thing High-definition Television Will Do Is Provide Sharper Images Of The Garbage.