President Obama Just Made His First Presidential

In A Speech In South Carolina, Donald Trump Responded To Criticisms From Senator Lindsey Graham By Giving Out Graham's Personal Cellphone Number. Graham Knew Something Was Up When He Saw He Had More Than One Missed Call.

After Donald Trump Wrote Lindsey Graham's Cellphone Number On A Piece Of Paper And Showed It To Everybody, Graham Said He's Getting A New Phone. Which Explains Lindsey Graham's Latest Campaign Slogan, 'new Phone, Who Dis?'

After President Obama Announced His Support For Net Neutrality Yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz Tweeted That 'net Neutrality Is Obamacare For The Internet.' While Ted Cruz Continues To Be The Taylor Swift Of Not Getting Over Obamacare.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

According To A New Survey, Almost Half Of The Voters In Ohio, Florida, And Pennsylvania Say That They Do Not Trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans Immediately Got Together And Said, 'ok, This Is A Huge Opportunity For Us. How Are We Going To Screw It Up?'