President Obama Has Announced A Task Force

I Was In The Rotc. Of Course, Rotc Stood For "running Off To Canada."

On 'meet The Press' Yesterday President Bush Was Asked What He Would Do If He Lost The Election And Bush Said, ''phhh, You Mean Like Last Time?'

Well, It Looks Like John Boehner Will Be The New Speaker Of The House. He Is The Son Of A Bartender, One Of 12 Children. He Grew Up In A Two Room Home With Just One Bathroom, Worked His Way Through School, Became The First Person In His Family To Graduate From College. And, Sadly, Fell In With The Wrong Crowd And Wound Up In Congress.

There Is A Nationwide Shortage Of Drugs For Attention Deficit Disorder. The Fda Says They're Not Sure How It Happened. I Guess Somebody Wasn't Paying Attention.

Martha Stewart Is Now Under House Arrest. So She'll Go To Her $40 Million 153-acre Estate. So She's Going From The Big House To An Even Bigger House.