President Bush Admitted That The United States

President-elect Barack Obama Is Starting To Get An Idea Of Just How Hard His New Job Is Going To Be. Today, He Said He Wanted To Bring A Sense Of Accountability To Washington. I Think They Realized Actual Accountability, Never Going To Happen.

In Spite Of The Poor Economy, Almost 70 Percent Of Americans Occasionally Splurge On Luxury Items -- Like A Blanket On A Plane, Or A Peanut.

I Always Tell New People In Show Business. I Say, "look, Show Business Pays You A Lot Of Money, Because Eventually You're Gonna Get Screwed. And When You Get Screwed, You Will Have This Pile Of Money Off To The Side Already." And They Go, "ok, Ok. Ok, You Ready? You Ready?" "i Got Screwed." "you Got The Pile Of Money?" "yeah, I'm Fine." I Mean, That's The Way It Works.

The Military Said We'll Be Able To Confirm Saddam Is Dead With Dna Testing. Apparently We Have A Sample Of His Dna. So Monica Lewinsky Is Working For The Cia?

The White House Is Now Urging Americans Not To 'read Too Much' Into Last Week's Jobs Report. In Fact, They Said It Would Be Best If You Didn't Read It At All.