People Will Go To Endless Trouble To

No Power On Earth, However, Can Abolish The Merciless Class Distinction Between Those Who Are Physically Desirable And The Lonely, Pallid, Spotted, Silent, Unfancied Majority.

Marriage Is Like Pleading Guilty To An Indefinite Sentence. Without Parole.

I'd Been Told Of All The Things You're Meant To Feel When Your Father Dies. Sudden Freedom, Growing Up, The End Of Dependence, The Step Into The Sunlight When No One Is Taller Than You And You're In No One's Shadow. I Know What I Felt. Lonely.

Never Believe A Rumour Until You Hear It Officially Denied.

Writing About The Indignities Of Old Age: The Daunting Stairway To The Restaurant Restroom, The Benefits Of A Wheelchair In Airports And Its Disadvantages At Cocktail Parties, Giving The User What He Described As A Child's-eye View Of The Party And A Crotch-level View Of The Guests. Dying Is A Matter Of Slapstick And Pratfalls. The Aging Process Is Not Gradual Or Gentle. It Rushes Up, Pushes You Over And Runs Off Laughing. No One Should Grow Old Who Isn't Ready To Appear Ridiculous.