People In New Orleans Really Care About

Journalists Are Interesting. They Just Aren't As Interesting As The Things They Cover.

When I Was Young, I Had A List Of Things That I Wanted In A Husband. I Knew What He Should Read And What Sports He Should Like And Blah, Blah, Blah. But The Truth Is, That The List Was A Shocking Mirror Image Of Me. You Want To Marry Yourself When You Are Young. All The Things You Think Are So Urgently Important, When You Get Older, You Discover They Don't Have Anything To Do With Love.

That's Your Problem! You Don't Want To Be In Love. You Want To Be In Love In A Movie.

Another Thing You End Up Doing When You Get Older, Is You Spend So Much Time Sort Of Trying Desperately To Keep From Just Looking Just A Little Older. You're Just Constantly Putting Stuff On Your Face And Having Things Removed From Yourself And Opening Up Copies Of "vogue" So That You Can Find New Ways To Throw Whatever Money You've Managed To Save Into The Arms Of Some Doctor Who Has Just Come Up With A New Way Of Lasering Your Face That Feels Like Electroshock And All These Things.

Look At The Parts The Oscar-nominated Actresses Played This Year: Hooker, Hooker, Hooker, Hooker, And Nun.