People Come Up To Me... Concerned... That

I Grew Up In An Era When Strange Adults Would Grab Me On The Street And Say: 'don't Do That.' You Never See That These Days. 'hi, We Took The Liberty Of Spanking Your Son.' Oh Thanks, My Hand Was Getting Worn.

When I Was A Kid I Used To Pray Every Night For A New Bicycle. Then I Realised That The Lord Doesn't Work That Way So I Stole One And Asked Him To Forgive Me.

I Once Had A Large Gay Following, But I Ducked Into An Alleyway And Lost Him.

They Call Me Good Time Emo. Because I Love A Good Time! And My Name Is Emo.

I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How Often Do You Find A Corpse?