Over The Weekend Mitt Romney Went Body

But Down In Florida In The Early Voting, There Were Computer Glitches, Confusing Ballots, Long Lines And Chaos. And When President Bush Heard About This, He Said, 'mission Accomplished!'

Welcome To The Program. My Name Is Dave Letterman, And Tonight I'm Giving My Two-week Notice.

I Vote Democrat Because I Believe Liberal Judges Need To Rewrite The Constitution Every Few Days To Suit Fringe Kooks Who Would Never Get Their Agendas Past The Voters.

The Latest Polls Show That Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Trailing Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante In The Polls. That's Insane. I Mean, Think About It, This Guy Cruz Bustamante Has Never Even Been In A Movie.

Barack Obama Said He May Negotiate With The Taliban. A Lot Of People Are Saying Okay, But Be Careful. But I Said This Guy Has Experience Negotiating With The Enemy. For Gosh Sake, He Lives With His Mother-in-law, You Know.