Our Ideals, Like The Gods Of Old,

Marriage Is Popular Because It Combines The Maximum Of Temptation With The Maximum Of Opportunity.

Golf Is Typical Capitalist Luncay.

What The World Calls Originality Is Only An Unaccustomed Method Of Tickling It.

Liquor Is The Chloroform Which Enables The Poor Man To Endure The Painful Operation Of Living.

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It. They Spell It So Abominably That No Man Can Teach Himself What It Soundslike.it Isimpossible Foran Englishmanto Openhis Mouth Without Making Some Other Englishman Hate Or Despise Him.