Our First Duty, To Which Every Other

Schools And Schoolmasters, As We Have Them Today, Are Not Popular As Places Of Education And Teachers, But Rather Prisons And Turnkeys In Which Children Are Kept To Prevent Them Disturbing And Chaperoning Their Parent.

Alcohol Is A Very Necessary Article. It Enables Parliament To Do Things At Eleven At Night That No Sane Person Would Do At Eleven In The Morning.

No Diet Will Remove All The Fat From Your Body Because The Brain Is Entirely Fat. Without A Brain, You Might Look Good, But All You Could Do Is Run For Public Office.

Liquor Is The Chloroform Which Enables The Poor Man To Endure The Painful Operation Of Living.

All Great Art And Literature Is Propaganda.