Other People's Children's Birthday Parties Are The

I'm Not Saying That Mcdonald's Gift Certificates Caused The Obesity Epidemic, But In Retrospect, The Timing Is Kind Of Suspicious.

It's Difficult To Parent One Kid, Let Alone Five! It's Insane. It's This Strange, Overwhelming Mess That I Would Not Trade For Anything. I Think It's More Difficult In New York City. It's Not Like We Can Hop In The Minivan And Go Somewhere. I Don't Own A Car. It's Chaos Anywhere. Being A Parent Is Difficult. Being A Son And A Daughter Is Difficult. It's A Human Relationship.

I've Stayed In So Many Hotel Rooms That I'm Shocked If, When I Stay In A Hotel Room, The Hotel Phone Isn't On The Desk. Then I'm Like, "this Isn't A Real Hotel Room." If There's Not Outlets Next To The Desk, Or If They Have An Iphone Adapter For An Iphone 4, That's When I'm Sitting There Annoyed. I Understand That It's Ridiculous, But That's Just Me Spending Way Too Much Time In Hotels.

The Appetizer Is Just An Excuse For An Extra Meal. Let's See, I Will Start With The Eighty Buffalo Wings.

I Always Had This Romantic Notion Of Living In New York. I Just Felt Like, Everyone Could Be Different And Weird And Whatever They Are In New York.