Once You Pass Forty, A Dime Isn't

Last Night We Had Three Small Zucchini For Dinner That Were Grown Within Fifty Feet Of Our Back Door. I Estimate They Cost Somewhere In The Neighborhood Of $371.49 Each.

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

The Dullest Olympic Sport Is Curling, Whatever 'curling' Means.

The English Language Is More Complex Than Calculus Because Numbers Don't Have Nuances.

Writers Don't Often Say Anything That Readers Don't Already Know, Unless Its A News Story. A Writer's Greatest Pleasure Is Revealing To People Things They Knew But Did Not Know They Knew. Or Did Not Realize Everyone Else Knew, Too. This Produces A Warm Sense Of Fellow Feeling And Is The Best A Writer Can Do.