Once I Was Gone For A Month

I'm Thankful For Sarah Palin's Vice Presidential Bid, Which Taught Us That Alaska Is Not In A Box Off The Coast Of California.

I Don't Have A Bank Account Because I Don't Know My Mother's Maiden Name And Apparently That's The Key To The Whole Thing Right There. I Go In Every Few Weeks And Guess.

I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's Never Made The Proper Way.

When We Save The Rain Forest, The Polar Bear, And Al Gore, We Should Party So Hard That Canada Calls The Cops On Us For Noise.

The Problem With Cats Is That They Get The Exact Same Look On Their Face Whether They See A Moth Or An Axe-murderer.