Oh Yeah, This Was So Comforting. Like

Who Did You Eat This Time? (acheron) It Wasn’t A Who, Akri. It Was Something That Had Hornies On Its Head Like Me. There Were A Bunch Of Them Actually. All Of Them Had Hornies And They Made A Strange Moo-moo Sound. (simi)

About A Hundred Or So Years Before You Were Born, A Dark-hunter Made The Mistake Of Falling In Love With His Talpina. Unfortunately For The Rest Of Us, She Didn’t Pass Artemis’s Test. Artemis Was So Angry, She Stepped In And Banished The Talpinas From Us, And Implemented The Oh So Wonderful You’re-only-supposed-to-sleep-with-them-once Rule. As Further Backlash, Acheron Came Up With The Never-touch-your-squire Law. I Tell You, You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Tried To Find A Decent One-night Stand In Seventh-century Britain. (talon)

And They Choose Our Mates. (ravyn) So What Do They Do? Jump Here On Earth, Tap You On The Shoulder, And Say, ‘hey, Bub, Marry Her’? (susan)

You Punk Asshole. What Was This? A Game For You? This Is My Life’s Work You Just Annihilated And For What? Shits And Giggles? Or Was This Nothing More Than A Fraternity Prank? Please Tell Me That You Didn’t Just Ruin My Integrity To Get Some Kind Of Drinking Points. This Is Something I’ve Been Working For Since Before You Were Born. How Dare You Make A Mockery Of Me. I Hope To God That One Day Someone Degrades You Like This So That You’ll Know, Just Once In Your Spoiled Pompous Life, What Humiliation Feels Like! (tory)

Oh, Goodie! I Get To Make The Redheaded Goddess Mad! (simi)