Officials At The London Olympics Will Be

I Had A Gun And I Had To Run And Shoot, Which Is Not Easy.

They're Making A Movie About Barack And Michelle Obama's First Date, Called 'southside With You,' And The Producers Say They've Already Cast Someone To Play Young Barack Obama. Now, I'm Not Saying The President Has Aged A Lot But That Young Actor Is Morgan Freeman.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

A Tell-all Book By David Axelrod, One Of President Obama's Former Strategists, Reveals That Obama Chose Joe Biden As His Vp Because Of His Energy And Enthusiasm. You Know, The Qualities You Look For In Someone Whose Main Job Is Traveling To State Funerals.

Today Is Earth Day. Environmentalists Spent The Day Drawing Attention To The Earth, While The Earth Just Spent The Day Checking Facebook To See Which Planets Wished It A Happy Earth Day.