Number One Way Life Would Be Different

Our Guest Tonight Is Michelle Obama, First Lady Of The United States. She's Here To Announce Her Run For President.

I Think The One Thing I Would Point To As A Primary Reason, Basically, Is That I Was A Gigantic Ass, ... It's The First Time I Got Dumped In My Life.

Weak Coffee Is The Greatest Sin Against Humanity.

Because You Think An Explosion Has Taken Place And You're Looking At The Shards And You Say, 'well, Can We Put This Back Together?' And By God, Maybe You Can Put It Back Together. And Maybe It Won't Be The Same, But Maybe It Will Be Different, And Maybe It Can Even Be Better In A Different Way.

Tomorrow Is Election Day. It's What They Call The Midterm Elections, And You Can Cut The Indifference With A Knife. It's The Day Americans Leave Work Early And Pretend To Vote.