Labour Day Is A Great American Holiday

John Kerry Went Duck Hunting And He's Doing That To Fulfill His Campaign Pledge To Hunt Down The Ducks And Kill Them Wherever They Are! Kerry Did Pretty Well; He Came Back With Four Ducks And Three Purple Hearts.

Some Secret Service Guys Crashed A Car Into The White House. And They Had Been Drinking When It Happened. Actually, They Hit A Barrier Trying To Get To The White House. It's The Same Thing That Is Happening To Hillary.

The First Presidential Debate Was Down In Florida. Residents Spent All Day Putting Plywood On Their Televisions.

It's So Warm Now, And Thanksgiving Came So Early - Is It Just Me, Or Does It Not Really Feel Like Ramadan?

The Hillary Team Is Driving Around In A Van. Sometimes People Get Those Gag Bumper Stickers Put On Their Van. Hillary Has One On Her Van, And It Says, 'if This Van's Rockin', I'm Deleting Emails.'