Nobody Sounds Good Writing About Your Divorce,

When You Do Try To Picture The Boys Who Do Ask You Out, They're Absolutely Featureless, Like Old Carvings Eroded By Centuries Of Rain And Wind.

Ninety Percent Of What's Wrong With You Could Be Cured With A Hot Bath, Says God From The Bowels Of The Subway. But We Want Magic, To Win The Lottery We Never Bought A Ticket For.

Reading Is Socially Accepted Disassociation. You Flip A Switch And You’re Not There Anymore. It’s Better Than Heroin. More Effective And Cheaper And Legal.

Even The Best Of Us Are At Least Part-time Bastards.

The Emotional Stakes A Memoirist Bets With Could Not Be Higher, And It's Physically Enervating. I Nap On A Daily Basis Like A Cross-country Trucker.