No One Is Depressed When They're Being

I'm Harmless. I Don't Have Any Ill Will Or Ill Thought Towards Anybody. When People Know You're That Way, You Can Say Stuff That The Creepy Guy At Your Office Could Never Get Away With.

I'm A Comedian, Not A Politician.

You Should Feel Good About Yourself Because Of Your Accomplishments. Not Because Somebody Yelled At You To Feel Good About Yourself.

All Tv Is, Is Really: 'don't You Want To Be This, Aren't You Glad You're Not That.' There's Nothing Really In The Middle.

Well, Guys Are Better At Mechanical Stuff And Women Are Better At Emotional Stuff.