Never, Never Underestimate The Power Of Desire.

Hospitalizations In General Are Blurry. The Days Are The Same, Precisely The Same. Nothing Changes. Life Melts Down To A Simple Progression Of Meals. They Become A Way Of Life Fairly Quickly. You May Welcome This Transition. It May Seem Inevitable To You. You Have Been Removed From The World. It Is All Right, In A Way, Because There Is Nothing So Sure, So Safe, As Routine.

It Is Not A Sudden Leap From Sick To Well. It Is A Slow, Strange Meander From Sick To Mostly Well. The Misconception That Eating Disorders Are A Medical Disease In The Traditional Sense Is Not Helpful Here. There Is No 'cure'. A Pill Will Not Fix It, Though It May Help. Ditto Therapy, Ditto Food, Ditto Endless Support From Family And Friends. You Fix It Yourself. It Is The Hardest Thing That I Have Ever Done, And I Found Myself Stronger For Doing It. Much Stronger.

I Am Often Drawn To What Appear At First To Be 'dark' Or 'difficult' Subjects, But Which, Upon Further Examination, Are Always And Only Reflections Of The Ways Human Beings Attempt, However Clumsily, Badly, Or Well, To Connect With Others.

You Will Not Stop. The Pain Is Necessary, Especially The Pain Of Hunger. It Reassures You That You Are Strong, Can Withstand Anything, That You Are Not A Slave To Your Body, You Don't Have To Give In To Its Whining.

There Is, In Fact, An Incredible Freedom In Having Nothing Left To Lose.