Never Call Anyone A Baboon Unless You

[footnote:] Pliny The Elder Described A Whale Called "balaena Or Whirlpool, Which Is So Long And Broad As To Take Up More In Length And Breadth Than Two Acres Of Ground." This Brings Up Again The Old Question: Are The Classics Doomed? Our Ancestors Believed That Four Years Of This Sort Of Information Would Inevitably Produce A President, Or At Least A Cabinet Member. It Didn't Seem To Work Out That Way.

The Ancient Egyptians Considered It Good Luck To Meet A Swarm Of Bees On The Road. What They Considered Bad Luck I Couldn't Say.

I Am Billed As A Humorist, But Of Course I Am A Tragedian At Heart.

Other Countries May Boast Of This And That, But Nobody Can Touch The United States For Poisonous Snakes. We Have About Twenty Species, Most Of Them Deadly, And Europe Has Only Five Or Six, None Of Them Much Good. We Have Fifteen Kinds Of Rattlesnakes Alone And Nobody Else Has Even One. [footnote: There Is A Species In Central And South America, But It Probably Came From Here.]

Orangutans Teach Us That Looks Are Not Everything-but Warned Near It.