Neural Scientists At M.i.t. Say They Can

As You All Know By Now, Barack Obama Sent Out A Cell Phone Text Message At 3 A.m. On Saturday Morning To Tell Everyone He Picked Joe Biden As His Vice President. How Do You Think This Makes Hillary Clinton Feel, Huh? Finally, She Gets A Telephone Call At 3 A.m., It's To Tell Her They Picked Joe Biden.

The Kinsey Institute Says Gay Men Have Bigger Sex Organs. Hence The Origin Of Gay Pride.

Halloween's Coming. Kids Get Very Imaginative In My Neighborhood. Last Year, Three Kids Showed Up As Goldman Sachs Executives And Demanded 4.5 Billion Pieces Of Candy.

At&t Is Now Offering A New Service That Allows You To Pay Your Bills Through Your Tv Screen By Using Your Remote Control. So Instead Of Saying, "the Check's In The Mail," People Are Going To Say, "hey, I Wanted To Pay, But I Couldn't Find The Remote."

A Pakistan Businessman Is Claiming That John Walker Lindh Is Gay And That He Was His Lover. Say What You Will About Lindh, But When This Guy Goes To Play For The Other Team - He Goes All The Way ... So Lindh May Be Both A Terrorist And A Gay Man. That May Be John Ashcroft's Worst Nightmare.