My Wife Has To Be The Worst

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

She Was So Fat That Her Bikini Is Made Out Of Two Bed Sheets (king-size).

I Come From A Stupid Family. During The Civil War My Great Uncle Fought For The West.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

I Don't Know Kid, There Are So Many Places They Could Hide.