My Only Desire Is An Intimate Infusion

It Took Me Time To Understand My Water Lilies. I Had Planted Them For The Pleasure Of It; I Grew Them Without Ever Thinking Of Painting Them.

I Want The Unobtainable. Other Artists Paint A Bridge, A House, A Boat, And That's The End. They Are Finished. I Want To Paint The Air Which Surrounds The Bridge, The House, The Boat, The Beauty Of The Air In Which These Objects Are Located, And That Is Nothing Short Of Impossible.

For Almost Two Months Now I've Been Struggling Away With No Result.

Now, More Than Ever, I Realize Just How Illusory My Undeserved Success Has Been. I Still Hold Out Some Hope Of Doing Better, But Age And Unhappiness Have Sapped My Strength.

I Still Have A Lot Of Pleasure Doing Them, But As Time Goes By I Come To Appreciate More Clearly Which Paintings Are Good And Which Should Be Discarded.