My Husband Wanted One Of Those Big-screen

I Don't Think I Was Funny Until College. I Lived With Some Harvard Md/phd Students - They Were So Smart, And What I Contributed To The House Was, I Was The Funny One.

The Only Way To Really Have Safe Sex Is To Abstain. From Drinking.

I Don't Like To Channel Surf. You Guys Like It, Don't You. You Guys Like To Change The Channel. We Like To Change You.

I Think There Have Always Been Funny Women, From Carol Burnett To Joan Rivers. When The Audience Sees A Woman, They Innately Know She's Worked Twice As Hard To Get There, She's Had To Prove That She Can Be The Leader, First, And Then Be Funny On Top Of It. She Has To Emit A Confidence That She's In Control.

I Took An Acting Class. After The First Day, The Teacher Quit, So They Said Take Another. When I Saw 'how To Be A Stand-up Comedian,' It Resonated. I Realized I'd Rather Make 200 People Laugh Than Make One Person Cry.