My Friend Asked Me If I Wanted

When You're Doing A Show On Stage, And They Show You A Red Light, That Means You Have 5 Minutes Left. At Some Clubs, They Hold A Candle Up In The Back. That's The Worst Method. You're Up Here, And Then You See A Floating Candle. "oh, No! This Place Is Haunted!" I Can't Be Funny When I'm Frightened.

I Would Imagine That If You Could Understand Morse Code, A Tap Dancer Would Drive You Crazy.

A Friend Gave Me A Drug For Attention Deficit Disorder, Because He's Afflicted, But I'm Not. So What Happened To Me Is I Suddenly Had An Extra-long Attention Span. People Would Tell Me A Story, And It Would End, And I'd Get All Mad. "come On, Man, There Has To Be More To That Story."

I Think Pickles Are Cucumbers That Sold Out. They Sold Their Soul To The Devil, And The Devil Is Dill.

I Got In An Argument With A Girlfriend Inside Of A Tent. That's A Bad Place For An Argument, Because I Tried To Walk Out, And Had To Slam The Flap.