Maybe They Should Name More Drugs Cute

Why He Would Agree To Install An Eight-by-eight-foot Fish Tank And Then Not Fill It With A Single Dolphin Made Me Want To Burn His Eyebrows Off.

Or People Who Have One Baby And Go Buy A Minivan... How Big Is Your Baby?

I Had An Abortion When I Was 16. Because That's What I Should Have Done. Otherwise I Would Now Have A 20-year-old Kid. Anyway, Those Are Things That People Shouldn't Be Dishonest About It.

I Can Remember My First One-night Stand Like It Was Yesterday. Well, Maybe Not The First. Or The Second... Or The Fifth. I'll Just Begin With What I Can Remember And Not Concern Myself With Order.

I Think Reality Television, Unless It's Inspirational, Which It Very Rarely Is, I Think It's Embarrassing. It's Embarrassing State Of Affairs That We're In.