Looking Back, I Should Have Pursued Philosophy

We Have Seen Pictures [of Mars] Where There There Are Canals, We Believe, And Water. If There Is Water, That Means There Is Oxygen. If Oxygen, That Means We Can Breathe.

I Used To Smoke Marijuana, But That Was When I Was In College, Before It Was A Drug.

If Al Gore Invented The Internet, I Invented Spell Check.

When I Talked To Him On The Phone Yesterday. I Called Him George Rather Than Mr. Vice President. But, In Public, It's Mr. Vice President, Because That Is Who He Is.

Want To Hear A Sad Story About The Dukakis Campaign? The Governor Of Massachusetts, He Lost His Top Naval Advisor Last Week. His Rubber Ducky Drowned In The Bathtub.