Listen, In England People Are Already Writing

I've Done A Lot Of Period Stuff But That's Mostly Because, In England, We Get Off On A Lot Of Period Stuff, But It's Not Any Kind Of Particular Choice. That's Where A Lot Of The Work Is.

I Think Marriage Is Ghastly.

In Burton's Day They [soldiers] Were Itching To Get Into The Fray. Now It Is The Opposite. They Are Always Whining About The Dangers Of Being Killed. Oh My God, They Are Such Wimps Now! The Whole Point Of Being In The Army Is Wanting To Get Killed, Wanting To Test Yourself To The Limits. Now You Have To Fly 15,000ft Above The War Zone To Avoid Getting Hit. I Don't Think There Is Any Point In Having Wars If That's How You're Going To Behave. It's Pathetic. All This Whining!

Why Are Men Talking About What Clothes They're Wearing? It's So Unmanly, I Think. It's Like Versailles Before The Revolution, Without The Style.

I Smell Of Sweat. I Don't Like People Smelling Of All These Weird Things. I Think Deodorant Is Disgusting.